The three visit rule

One of the many things our teacher in cultural sensitivity training tried to drill into our heads was that Singaporeans prefer indirect communication to direct communication. How does this look? Well, it's typical to have a very chatty and off-topic meeting with someone who you are trying to do business with. To us, it feels like they aren't taking our business seriously but really they are trying to see if we are serious enough to build a relationship with them.

After some frustrating experiences I figured out that there is a "three visits rule." If I chill out and just trust this process I can get things done and enjoy the indirect quirkiness of Singaporean business customs.

So this is my three visits rule which I have just applied to several things, including signing a lease, getting insurance, doing anything at the bank etc.
Visit one, you shake hands, you exchange name cards with two hands, courteously head bob and then you sit down usually with tea. After that you let them steer the conversation. They will want to know if you are married, if you have children and when you want to have children. You might get to chat about you actually need to get done.

Visit two, repeat some of visit one and insert forms you've filled in for said product. This might be a good time to look for common ground, like where did they grow up and what do they like to do. They probably will make some suggestions for products that are not very helpful but play it cool, praise their resourcefulness and let them know you are going to meet with them again when you have had time to think about it.

Visit three, they will be willing to offer you the product you originally came in for on visit one.

Don't be surprised if a banker sends you a text from their personal cell phone before appointments and wave when they see you on the street. This is all part of relationship you just built (which is their job). It's baffling to us coming from a very direct culture where your banker could pass you on the street and have no idea you've ever met.

The bad news is, if you are new to Singapore and low on patience, the three visits are going to be very trying. If you are too direct you will cause them to lose face and they will completely avoid you which is far more frustrating. I'm on my forth financial adviser. I learned the hard way.