I'm sitting on the deck of a cottage overlooking the Straight of Georgia with wind rustling the Douglas fir trees above my head. It sounds idyllic but really I'm taking a breather because I just fought a two hour battle to get my boys down to sleep while daddy tried to work on a deadline in the corner of our room. It was two against one. Two crazed boys hoped desperately to get daddy's attention by vaulting off beds, pulling down curtains, screaming, hitting... you name the bad behavior, we had it. This is travel with kids while working. It's a push-pull of trying to be productive while inadvertently creating power struggles because they don't understand why one parent needs to hunker down and focus on something other than them. Unlike home, where the working parent vanishes from view and they orient to the parent in charge, this arrangement splits the focus and it can be all out war. If the parent working can get away to work in a cafe or work space it's a lot better though travel still feels strange to them when one of us is flying solo. Travel is great, exciting and fun. It's also overstimulating, new and scary sometimes. Personally our most successful trips are when we both leave all devices work behind 100%. The kids suddenly settle into each new place, we see them looking more relaxed and secure as we shift from one location to the next.
As for best and worst ages for kids to travel, I have some mixed ideas. Each age is different and each kid has their hard ages. For me, I loved travel with my boys as babies. They were easy babies and I didn't need much gear to be sane, literally a carrier and diaper bag and we were set. Both kids walked early so from 9 months to 24 months was just crazy toddler times. Walking up and down aisles on planes, chasing them around parks, pushing empty strollers while trying to keep them alive. After 2 they could focus on activities a little longer so plane rides got a little easier. The next bit of challenge has been age 3 with each boy. This was when they each suddenly wanted to explore new ways to die all day every day. Unlocking doors and escaping from hotel rooms, running away and hiding till we nearly call in the police, climbing into swimming pools, running across streets and refusing to hold anyone's hand ever. Don't ever laugh or say something disparaging about a parent with a 3 year old on a leash. They've probably nearly lost that kid 40 times that day already and are just.so.done. Age 4 with my older kid was much easier and then each year after that was better too. To all the other parents currently traveling with threenagers vowing NEVER again. I hear you. It gets better. That said, I still am traveling with this three year old. I also unabashedly tether this kid to my wrist because we both need to survive this.
We also have noticed that family travel goes better then it's independent of social expectations, like travel to a wedding, Christmas, family reunion etc. Kids pick up on the stress of all the extended family and logistics happening around them and they act out accordingly. I have friends who say they hate family travel but admittedly have only schlepped their kids to big family functions and endured their kids worst behavior and felt like it was a bad idea to travel. Likewise it can also make kids nuts to be with you staying with family or friends who stress YOU out. It might be good for everyone's sanity to not do that when there's another option. Home Exchange has opened a whole new world for having a free and easy options to stay near family but have our space to find balance and rhythm and enjoy each other. It takes and little getting used to arranging things really far in advance but I really can't say enough positive things about swapping homes with other families.
So that's my advice, take it or leave it! Travel with your kids, find your feet under you and figure out what works.
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