Islands and the far North

We finished up our time in Canada with a couple of weeks based in Victoria with Joel's parents. We both took some short trips that we staggered so there was always one of us plus grandparents on hand. Joel took his two unavoidable work trips (Atlanta and NY) and I took my annual solo trip to recharge. Last year I went down to LA for a couple of nights to stay with our friends there and this year I went to Yellowknife for three nights to meet up with two of my best girlfriends who live there.

The boys enjoyed being enrolled in daily private swim lessons at the rec center down the street. This is one of the glorious things about the amazing Canadian rec centers. Everything is so organized and so CHEAP. They swam every day and I had them out on the ice skating twice too.

My trip was exactly what I needed. A few uninterrupted nights of sleep, wine, good company, glorious Northern sunsets and steaming plates or Arctic char. What's not to love? I almost bought mukluks and then I decided that was perhaps the most silly thing a Californian could possibly bring home.

Once we were all back in Victoria we drove up the island to Campbell River to do one last family visit up there. The boys got to go out on a fishing boat with their great uncle and they absolutely loved it.

Our drive home was another three day haul ending with our a/c unit exploding when we went over the state line into California and finally hit Summer weather. So we drove home with cups of ice and lots of respect for that really vital part of our car. The boys did great, they showed great resilience in the face of lots of adversity on the last leg. That's why we travel anyway! Personal growth, resilience, adventures and memories.

This is where we lost our a/c. It was 104 degrees outside. 

The Best And Worst Times For Travel With Kids

I'm sitting on the deck of a cottage overlooking the Straight of Georgia with wind rustling the Douglas fir trees above my head. It sounds idyllic but really I'm taking a breather because I just fought a two hour battle to get my boys down to sleep while daddy tried to work on a deadline in the corner of our room. It was two against one. Two crazed boys hoped desperately to get daddy's attention by vaulting off beds, pulling down curtains, screaming, hitting... you name the bad behavior, we had it. This is travel with kids while working. It's a push-pull of trying to be productive while inadvertently creating power struggles because they don't understand why one parent needs to hunker down and focus on something other than them. Unlike home, where the working parent vanishes from view and they orient to the parent in charge, this arrangement splits the focus and it can be all out war. If the parent working can get away to work in a cafe or work space it's a lot better though travel still feels strange to them when one of us is flying solo. Travel is great, exciting and fun. It's also overstimulating, new and scary sometimes. Personally our most successful trips are when we both leave all devices work behind 100%. The kids suddenly settle into each new place, we see them looking more relaxed and secure as we shift from one location to the next.

As for best and worst ages for kids to travel, I have some mixed ideas. Each age is different and each kid has their hard ages. For me, I loved travel with my boys as babies. They were easy babies and I didn't need much gear to be sane, literally a carrier and diaper bag and we were set. Both kids walked early so from 9 months to 24 months was just crazy toddler times. Walking up and down aisles on planes, chasing them around parks, pushing empty strollers while trying to keep them alive. After 2 they could focus on activities a little longer so plane rides got a little easier. The next bit of challenge has been age 3 with each boy. This was when they each suddenly wanted to explore new ways to die all day every day. Unlocking doors and escaping from hotel rooms, running away and hiding till we nearly call in the police, climbing into swimming pools, running across streets and refusing to hold anyone's hand ever. Don't ever laugh or say something disparaging about a parent with a 3 year old on a leash. They've probably nearly lost that kid 40 times that day already and are just.so.done. Age 4 with my older kid was much easier and then each year after that was better too. To all the other parents currently traveling with threenagers vowing NEVER again. I hear you. It gets better. That said, I still am traveling with this three year old. I also unabashedly tether this kid to my wrist because we both need to survive this.

We also have noticed that family travel goes better then it's independent of social expectations, like travel to a wedding, Christmas, family reunion etc. Kids pick up on the stress of all the extended family and logistics happening around them and they act out accordingly. I have friends who say they hate family travel but admittedly have only schlepped their kids to big family functions and endured their kids worst behavior and felt like it was a bad idea to travel. Likewise it can also make kids nuts to be with you staying with family or friends who stress YOU out. It might be good for everyone's sanity to not do that when there's another option. Home Exchange has opened a whole new world for having a free and easy options to stay near family but have our space to find balance and rhythm and enjoy each other. It takes and little getting used to arranging things really far in advance but I really can't say enough positive things about swapping homes with other families.

So that's my advice, take it or leave it! Travel with your kids, find your feet under you and figure out what works.

Saltspring Island

We've had a lazy Summer holiday on Saltspring Island. A few days in our one short home exchange this trip at the Salty Pear farm in Ganges with one night at the Mineral Springs Resort at the North end of the Island. The kids have mostly played in the fields and run and mountain biked on the trails. We've had great food in Ganges, most notably at the old Treehouse restaurant that's been there forever. We explored the tide pools at Ruckle point today finding sea anemones, starfish, crabs, moon snails and tiny hermit crabs. 

Road Trips in the Pacific Northwest

We road-tripped up the coast of California, Oregon and Washington in June after school ended for the kids. We've been in Vancouver, Victoria, Penticton and about to head to Saltspring Island.  I do love to write glowing reviews of our family travels but this one is peppered with some trials. It's been a LOT of driving and frankly the kids dislike (actually hate) it and we're not big fans of sitting down in the car either. We have all agreed we are all happier flying and then maximizing our time on arrival with lots of very active stuff. Now we know, we'll definitely not plan further long road trips.

We have been outside a lot and doing the best with inclement coastal weather. I always warn Californains heading up here in Summer to pack some warm socks as well as full rain gear. But did I remember to do that? Hah! It is really cold compared to pretty much anywhere. We're talking an average temp of 65 where we currently are in Sooke BC and while this is the "dry" season we've had rain seven days in 2 1/2 weeks so far! We grew up here so we remember the drizzle but we've gone wimpy after all the sunshine we've had for the last 12 years. It's not an unwelcome break if one needs to escape steamy temps for a few weeks. I will admit to now being ready to defrost a bit somewhere a lot warmer. Ah well.