The Best And Worst Times For Travel With Kids

I'm sitting on the deck of a cottage overlooking the Straight of Georgia with wind rustling the Douglas fir trees above my head. It sounds idyllic but really I'm taking a breather because I just fought a two hour battle to get my boys down to sleep while daddy tried to work on a deadline in the corner of our room. It was two against one. Two crazed boys hoped desperately to get daddy's attention by vaulting off beds, pulling down curtains, screaming, hitting... you name the bad behavior, we had it. This is travel with kids while working. It's a push-pull of trying to be productive while inadvertently creating power struggles because they don't understand why one parent needs to hunker down and focus on something other than them. Unlike home, where the working parent vanishes from view and they orient to the parent in charge, this arrangement splits the focus and it can be all out war. If the parent working can get away to work in a cafe or work space it's a lot better though travel still feels strange to them when one of us is flying solo. Travel is great, exciting and fun. It's also overstimulating, new and scary sometimes. Personally our most successful trips are when we both leave all devices work behind 100%. The kids suddenly settle into each new place, we see them looking more relaxed and secure as we shift from one location to the next.

As for best and worst ages for kids to travel, I have some mixed ideas. Each age is different and each kid has their hard ages. For me, I loved travel with my boys as babies. They were easy babies and I didn't need much gear to be sane, literally a carrier and diaper bag and we were set. Both kids walked early so from 9 months to 24 months was just crazy toddler times. Walking up and down aisles on planes, chasing them around parks, pushing empty strollers while trying to keep them alive. After 2 they could focus on activities a little longer so plane rides got a little easier. The next bit of challenge has been age 3 with each boy. This was when they each suddenly wanted to explore new ways to die all day every day. Unlocking doors and escaping from hotel rooms, running away and hiding till we nearly call in the police, climbing into swimming pools, running across streets and refusing to hold anyone's hand ever. Don't ever laugh or say something disparaging about a parent with a 3 year old on a leash. They've probably nearly lost that kid 40 times that day already and are just.so.done. Age 4 with my older kid was much easier and then each year after that was better too. To all the other parents currently traveling with threenagers vowing NEVER again. I hear you. It gets better. That said, I still am traveling with this three year old. I also unabashedly tether this kid to my wrist because we both need to survive this.

We also have noticed that family travel goes better then it's independent of social expectations, like travel to a wedding, Christmas, family reunion etc. Kids pick up on the stress of all the extended family and logistics happening around them and they act out accordingly. I have friends who say they hate family travel but admittedly have only schlepped their kids to big family functions and endured their kids worst behavior and felt like it was a bad idea to travel. Likewise it can also make kids nuts to be with you staying with family or friends who stress YOU out. It might be good for everyone's sanity to not do that when there's another option. Home Exchange has opened a whole new world for having a free and easy options to stay near family but have our space to find balance and rhythm and enjoy each other. It takes and little getting used to arranging things really far in advance but I really can't say enough positive things about swapping homes with other families.

So that's my advice, take it or leave it! Travel with your kids, find your feet under you and figure out what works.

Our First Day In Montreal

The flights from Victoria to Vancouver and Vancouver to Montreal went really well. The boys were quiet and happy the whole way. They both slept through a lot of the second flight and Austen watched Zootopia with Daddy. The headphones we bought him before we left have been a godsend. The other MVP was the double stroller which Air Canada did check at the gate. I even saw someone with a double Bob - the largest beast of a double - and they managed to get on without even folding it despite there being 8 other strollers gate checked. So hats off to AC. They did a good job.

The kids were up late with the time difference and then up again at 6:30 ready to start the day... which, if you do the math, was really a 3:30am start for all of us. We were at Sir Wilfred Laurier park by 8:30 this morning after grabbing myself a coffee at Lapin Pressé en route. It's now lunch time. Caelen is down for his second nap. He is the sensible child. Austen on the other hand is singing enthusiastically to the Playmobil after a two hour stand-off over the issue of needing to eat food. No suggestion is good enough for this three year old today. He wants to be left alone to genuflect before the pile of toys generously left here by the family who rented us their home. Send more coffee.

Inching Closer To Adventure Time

Good news! Caelen is going to have a US passport and be officially acknowledged as an American citizen. Joel made a follow-up phone call after our additional proof of citizenship package was delivered. Once the passport arrives we can start dealing with his Canadian citizenship. Yet another instance where we wish we were dealing with the well oiled machine of the Singapore Ministry of Manpower and the Canadian High Commission in SG. Boggles the mind. Anyway, we are going to be fine to go on our trip and that's what's important right now. I've been really busy getting us ready to go. Yes we're still a ways from the departure date but I'm a planner. My list making frenzy has already been in full force for weeks. All our flights have been booked, we found a place to stay in Montreal and I've been interviewing for a part time nanny there so I can work a bit.

Ok now lets talk travel with kids again. No matter how minimal you try to be, travelling with two under 4 is going to require some extra checked baggage. After years of honing our packing skills down to just carry-on we're hauling more than ever before. Every freaking thing has a big bulky flight case from the stroller to the car seats. I'm trying to devise a plan where arrival and departure at the airports won't be such a gong-show. So far here's what my thoughts are.

• Check the two carseats (packed in proper flight cases)
• Gatecheck (right at the door of the plane) the double stroller
• Team up the suitcase packing (eg: one kid and one parent's clothes in each) so we can get down to two suitcases. 
• Austen carries his own carry-on (Stop laughing. Three year olds occasionally take direction right?)

A Mini Live-Away Adventure X4

We've been suffering from the travel bug since the one year mark in our new home. Yes, I know. At one year I was holding a newborn baby with a nearly three year old gnawing on my ankle but that didn't stop the yearning to try to take them somewhere. We took a trip to LA and Carmel when Caelen was three weeks old and it went pretty well so we began to envision our next travel opportunity. Joel usually spends a good chunk of time each year in Montreal as he works with a team of guys based there and given the weak Canadian dollar we realized we could swing spending an extended period of time away in Canada especially if we could rent out our home here. And so it was arranged. This Summer we're taking off for a mini live-away adventure in Montreal. Expats in our home country but in a city where neither of us has ever lived. We have 8 weeks to organize a renter for the house, a cat-sitter (if renter cat-sits that would be great) hire a French tutor and figure out our side trips to visit friends and family. Oh yes... and that kitchen reno really must end. I'll be blogging this crazy Summer. 

Fun fact: In 2002 a much younger Stacey & Joel traveled to Montreal on their first trip together. 

How We Travel With Littles

Disclaimer: I'm not a child travel expert. I've been at this for just three years and I only have two kids. We have survived more than 20 flights ranging from 19 hours to little 2 hour hops. And we've done a myriad of road trips varying in length from 4 to 10 hours. 

What's the best time to take a first trip with my baby?

That depends on a few factors. The first being the healing time you need port-birth. If you're up and walking and carrying your baby for long walks and feeling emotionally stable, you can probably tackle a little trip. For some mothers that's at two weeks and others that's at eight, ten...twelve. Don't compare yourself to anyone else and for god's sake don't let anyone bully you into buying plane tickets before your baby is born.

The other factor is the biggest wild card: your baby. Is your baby very sensitive? You won't know till they make their appearance. A very sensitive baby might hate every single detail of travel from the smells to the din of the airport. Also if you little one is suffering from colic or any intestinal upset common in the first 12 weeks you'll have yours hands full enough at home. A trip might not be very fun for anyone involved.

So my answer? Travel when you and your baby are feeling stable, healthy and happy. For me that was at six weeks. I was comfortable with baby-wearing, nursing in public and my baby could sleep through a train wreck or a concert and be well rested. I call that plain old luck.

Welcome baby!

We celebrated the holidays with itty bitty feet, hands and cooing newborn baby smiles. Caelen is here!

This December our family is growing by 2 feet!

June Gloom?

I just wanted to document our suffering here...

LA's famous "June Gloom"... sigh, it's just so...

Obviously my pictures speak for themselves. We're truly on the verge of buying UV lamps to sit under or something. [sigh]

June has been eventful for us. I'm now working! I got really busy with freelance jobs so all of a sudden I had to reorganize my life. A nanny and a house-keeper were hired on to the pick up the slack. Austen loves his new nanny and is happy to play with her and still have mommy cuddles throughout the day. It's truly the best of both worlds for me. Kopi-o has also requested a masseuse be on staff but for the time being his request is on hold.

Happy Halloween!

20lbs of pure joy

Austen turned six months, jumped up to 12 month clothing and weighed in at 20lbs and 27" at his last Dr's Appointment. His new skills are crawling, pulling himself up to standing and doing some of his favourite yoga moves like downward dog. 

We have been going to new mom groups to meet other little ones. Austen loves his baby play-groups. It's hard to describe the level of glee when he arrives and sees all the babies. He starts to squeal and giggle and doesn't stop his joyful trill till we leave. 

A few days ago we took him to see The Bills concert in Oakland and he sat with his gaze fixed on his uncle Adrian until he was finally lulled off to sleep in the second half. This kid loves concerts!

That's about all our news right now. Hope everyone is having a really great Autumn. xo

The first three weeks

Austen is 21 days days old and growing and changing faster than we could have imagined. He's a strong little guy and can turn himself over and can almost hold his head up already. He's a pretty good sleeper, often passing out for 4-5 hour stretches at night (yay!). Here are a few more pictures from his first weeks.

Week three

Week two

Week one

It's a boy!

Austen

was born at home in Singapore

on March 14th at 7:03 am

7 pounds 15 ounces, 22 inches

The waiting game continues

I know the hits on our blog right now are primarily to look for baby news so I'll update here. We're sitting comfy at 40 weeks, 4 days and trying not to be insanely anxious to meet this little one.

The really cool news is my parents are now in Bali actually staying in our favourite little Inn and exploring one of the most magical areas of the planet. I'm not sure what date they will fly here but it will likely be next week. If you are Facebook friends with my Dad you can see what they are up to!

My brother is also SE Asia bound and should be flying somewhere over the North Pacific right now en route to Hong Kong where he's staying over for a night and then arriving in Singapore in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

Onesies and tiny socks

36 Weeks

Well here we are! It's mid-January. We had a beautiful baby shower thrown for us by our dear friends here and a virtual shower thrown online for everyone who couldn't physically be here. Our little change table is filled with the essentials and there's the cutest little row of onesies hanging in the closet. Pristine new swaddles are hanging on the clothesline waving in the breeze reminding me that really it's just a few more weeks now. Our families have all purchased their plane tickets and phonecalls and emails are now focused on last details of a much anticipated family reunion.

And how are we doing? We're doing great! Really, I'm not exaggerating at all. I'm off bed rest and have more energy than I've had since last June. I may have had an unbelievably crappy first trimester followed by an equally awful second and there may be a number of close friends now who might be strongly considering adoption. BUT I am telling the absolute solemn truth that the third trimester has been a total breeze so far and guess what? I'm 8 months this weekend and it's almost all over.

I've never been one to use tickers to count things down on our blog before but in the top of our side bar on the blog right now you can see there's a little count-down going on for anyone who's checking in to see how much longer... Don't be a stranger. Say hi, ping us on Skype, we really love all the fun emails and calls we've been getting as we wait out the proverbial waiting game.

A bowl of orchids at our flower-filled baby shower

One more milestone... our fur-baby, Kopi-o is about to turn one year old