is it dead?

My goodness, it's been a few years. A few things have happened that have taken this away from being an expat blog. It's been 10 years since we last country-hopped - how settled have we become? We also became US citizens. Just in time to vote... but let's not talk about that. So, what is this blog now? Is it dead? [pokes it with a stick]

I think it's time to give it a few palpitations and see if there's life in her still. This year was BIG. We're revved up, we're making travel plans, and given the mass exodus off social media, I think we just might get back to updating this when we travel. Next up: our train trip from SF to Seattle in a sleeper car. 

Summer Cottage on a lake

It's the key ingredient of a Canadian kid's Summer if you live in the Eastern provinces with lots of lakes. Having grown up in cottage country it was odd when we moved to BC at age 10 and there were relatively few warm, clear lakes to dive into in the Summer. There were also few days that got warm enough to want to swim! A BC Summer is more like spring weather, wet, breezy with occasional warmer days but it rarely gets sticky hot. When we lived in Vancouver all my Ontario Summer clothes lived in a bag. And after moving to hotter climates we have learned not to bring things like flip flops and sun dresses with us in July because they just live in the suitcase. We were utterly astonished this Summer to be arriving for our first ever heat wave during a BC Summer. 

When we got to the cottage with Joel's family we were treated to weather that was right out of an Eastern Ontario childhood. Jumping in the warm lake multiple times a day to stay cool. Sitting by a fan with a cool drink after. Warm evenings playing long competitive games of Risk and pulling out the secret stashes of treats we hid when the kits were up. 

We also had really lovely weather to have a lot of outdoor time in Sooke with my family and music festival time with my brother and his family. Joel and I got away for one night to the Empress Hotel where we wined and dined and got a luxurious sleep in. 

The Best And Worst Times For Travel With Kids

I'm sitting on the deck of a cottage overlooking the Straight of Georgia with wind rustling the Douglas fir trees above my head. It sounds idyllic but really I'm taking a breather because I just fought a two hour battle to get my boys down to sleep while daddy tried to work on a deadline in the corner of our room. It was two against one. Two crazed boys hoped desperately to get daddy's attention by vaulting off beds, pulling down curtains, screaming, hitting... you name the bad behavior, we had it. This is travel with kids while working. It's a push-pull of trying to be productive while inadvertently creating power struggles because they don't understand why one parent needs to hunker down and focus on something other than them. Unlike home, where the working parent vanishes from view and they orient to the parent in charge, this arrangement splits the focus and it can be all out war. If the parent working can get away to work in a cafe or work space it's a lot better though travel still feels strange to them when one of us is flying solo. Travel is great, exciting and fun. It's also overstimulating, new and scary sometimes. Personally our most successful trips are when we both leave all devices work behind 100%. The kids suddenly settle into each new place, we see them looking more relaxed and secure as we shift from one location to the next.

As for best and worst ages for kids to travel, I have some mixed ideas. Each age is different and each kid has their hard ages. For me, I loved travel with my boys as babies. They were easy babies and I didn't need much gear to be sane, literally a carrier and diaper bag and we were set. Both kids walked early so from 9 months to 24 months was just crazy toddler times. Walking up and down aisles on planes, chasing them around parks, pushing empty strollers while trying to keep them alive. After 2 they could focus on activities a little longer so plane rides got a little easier. The next bit of challenge has been age 3 with each boy. This was when they each suddenly wanted to explore new ways to die all day every day. Unlocking doors and escaping from hotel rooms, running away and hiding till we nearly call in the police, climbing into swimming pools, running across streets and refusing to hold anyone's hand ever. Don't ever laugh or say something disparaging about a parent with a 3 year old on a leash. They've probably nearly lost that kid 40 times that day already and are just.so.done. Age 4 with my older kid was much easier and then each year after that was better too. To all the other parents currently traveling with threenagers vowing NEVER again. I hear you. It gets better. That said, I still am traveling with this three year old. I also unabashedly tether this kid to my wrist because we both need to survive this.

We also have noticed that family travel goes better then it's independent of social expectations, like travel to a wedding, Christmas, family reunion etc. Kids pick up on the stress of all the extended family and logistics happening around them and they act out accordingly. I have friends who say they hate family travel but admittedly have only schlepped their kids to big family functions and endured their kids worst behavior and felt like it was a bad idea to travel. Likewise it can also make kids nuts to be with you staying with family or friends who stress YOU out. It might be good for everyone's sanity to not do that when there's another option. Home Exchange has opened a whole new world for having a free and easy options to stay near family but have our space to find balance and rhythm and enjoy each other. It takes and little getting used to arranging things really far in advance but I really can't say enough positive things about swapping homes with other families.

So that's my advice, take it or leave it! Travel with your kids, find your feet under you and figure out what works.

Road Trips in the Pacific Northwest

We road-tripped up the coast of California, Oregon and Washington in June after school ended for the kids. We've been in Vancouver, Victoria, Penticton and about to head to Saltspring Island.  I do love to write glowing reviews of our family travels but this one is peppered with some trials. It's been a LOT of driving and frankly the kids dislike (actually hate) it and we're not big fans of sitting down in the car either. We have all agreed we are all happier flying and then maximizing our time on arrival with lots of very active stuff. Now we know, we'll definitely not plan further long road trips.

We have been outside a lot and doing the best with inclement coastal weather. I always warn Californains heading up here in Summer to pack some warm socks as well as full rain gear. But did I remember to do that? Hah! It is really cold compared to pretty much anywhere. We're talking an average temp of 65 where we currently are in Sooke BC and while this is the "dry" season we've had rain seven days in 2 1/2 weeks so far! We grew up here so we remember the drizzle but we've gone wimpy after all the sunshine we've had for the last 12 years. It's not an unwelcome break if one needs to escape steamy temps for a few weeks. I will admit to now being ready to defrost a bit somewhere a lot warmer. Ah well.

Europe Through the Back Door Family Style

We did it! We survived a two week whirlwind trip in Europe with a 2 and 5 year old. Not only that, we managed to get back into the travel style we adopted when we read good 'ol Rick Steve's Europe Through the Back Door some years back. Carry-on only, 35-40 litre packs and only just the basics. Buy the shampoo when you arrive! I have no idea how we got so off track but when we had kids we started to travel with double strollers, carseats and enough clothes to dress the kids 3X a day. In reality it was all the stuff that made travel with the kids so much more stressful. Could we do Europe with each little carrying their own pack and forgo all the checked baggage?


Photo evidence:

One small pack each, the diaper bag full of activities, a bag to stuff the Ergo carrier into and a stroller that folds down to the size of a purse. That's it. No electronic devices, no suitcases. We flew through airports, skipped the lines, jumped onto buses and trains and walked across towns from train to Inn with no problems. With Caelen in the ergo on Joel's back and Austen in the stroller we even managed to have them both sleep while on the move. So, it was a great, relaxing and fun family trip and we are really energised to travel so much more with the boys.

Postcards from France

Europe On The Calendar Again!

Our last trip to Paris was in 2011

We did it! We booked our first trip to Europe with the kids in mid-July. It's going to be the four of us, traveling light and as simply as possible. A week in France for a reunion with our dear friends from Singapore and a week in the UK visiting my second cousins and great uncle and seeing a castle or two.

We land in Paris and spend a night in a quaint Inn in the Marais, stroll some of the sights and then catch a train to Bordeaux for our Singapore friends visit. After about 5 days in Bordeaux, we will take the train to Paris and chunnel to London to spend a night there (and a day exploring - Austen is determined to see Big Ben so we better do that) before heading out to our thatched cottage we have rented for a week in Oxfordshire.  It's the most we have ever moved around with the kids and are hoping they aren't too upset by the changes. Finding the space to travel and make it feel unhurried is our new challenge. We also are not bringing Joel's bike, the big double stroller, car seats, electronic devices (aside from phones), or anything that doesn't fit into a carry on bag. That is my mission anyway. Pictures of this actually happening pending.

Our baggage pile on the way to Montreal in 2016. This is what travel hell looks like.

And Then It Rained

We finally have some seasonal weather. That pouring rain that goes all night long and leaves everything thoroughly soaked has been and gone a couple of times. Our first significant rainfall since early spring. The succulents suddenly bloomed and now I'm hauling them close to the house for shelter from the cold dips in temperature we often get this high on the hillside in November and December. The lemons are ripening and the winter garden is emerging.

Caelen selecting a pumpkin for Halloween

Austen is in his third month of attending both a Waldorf forest preschool two days a week and a more traditional preschool the rest of the week. Caelen has a couple of different nannies who cover me every day while I work. He got into the groove very quickly. He's nearly finished potty training already and will turn two in December. Austen's preschool is letting Caelen enroll in January due to his signs of readiness (the usual age limit is 2 1/2). This will really thrill him. He wants to go with Austen each day so badly and Austen is so excited to have him join him. They won't be together at a school like this again for another three years.

Speaking of school we are registering Austen for Kindergarten for next fall. I am hoping for him to be accepted into a full time outdoor Waldorf program. They have the most magical venue and Austen is in love with the place after his tour. It doesn't hurt that most of his close friends are headed there too. So fingers crossed everyone! It's a lottery.

Joel is busy as always. It seems like he's been on a work trip nearly every week since the school year began. He's been home most weekends and for a few weekdays here and there but it's been pretty sparse. The boys are pretty used to being just with me and we have our routines down but there are always sad bedtime goodnights. I can't wait for the holiday season mostly because the travel ends for a little while.

My company is picking up lots of speed at last now that the kids are taken care of for a stretch each day. I took some time this year to really think about who I want to work with and what direction I want to take my portfolio. A maternity leave is both a curse—because it takes years to get caught up to your peers again— and a blessing—because you can change course and no one really notices the shift except you. I never had to cut loose my science & tech companies before I veered off to serve arty boutique companies. I'm happier and no one had to get ruffled about it. I post things I'm working on all the time if you are curious.

Everyone is still asking if we got the new Green Cards yet. No. Joel just checked the processing times and they are now processing Nov of 2016 and we are early Feb 2017 so I figure early Feb 2018 we should be good to go. But who knows. We're all itchy to travel and even taking about expatriation for a short stint if something comes up that looks good. One expats, always expats. Can we ever settle?

Travel in Flux

Who knew a split second would change our entire year? Caelen putting Austen's and my Green Cards in some mysterious place has meant we are in a queue to get new ones for likely over a year. Our trip to Europe was canceled. Joel was able to bank his sabbatical and we'll attempt this next Summer. Austen was especially bummed out about the change of plans so we booked a short trip to SoCal to visit both Disneyland and Legoland and our friends down that way. It was a success and took everyone's mind off yearning for the Tuscan hills.

Our Summer Travel Destination Will Be...

Europe! Yes, we are taking the boys on a 9-hour flight at ages 18 months and 4. Austen, who has difficulty with sitting still for all 10 minutes of circle time at preschool is probably going to love sitting in his seat for an entire day but what can I say. We're gluttons for punishment.

The plan is to spend a chunk of time in Italy somewhere in Tuscany. We will be having a little reunion with some dear friends we miss so much from our time in Singapore. We'll also be finishing our travels with a week in London. Nothing is booked yet, no dates are set in stone but the wheels are churning.

Farewell Montreal

Our final week in Montreal wrapped up with the hottest days of our trip. Lots of swimming in the public pools and iced coffees in cafes. Our sweltering Air BnB place for the week was not the best choice but we made the most of the location. We had a family meal out at Maison Publique  and did some epic walks around the city and then we packed up for the airport. 

Heading home after five weeks away was strange and but also a relief. We learned so much about travel with two under four on this trip. Probably the most important thing I learned is that trailing along on a trip when Joel is working not all that much fun for me. Our side trips on the weekends were fantastic but the week days with Joel gone and me alone with the kids with no network or activities like preschool... it was daunting and isolating. The fun side trips told me that the kids are really happy to travel, we function really well as a family on the move and we plan to travel more in the future. 

I Dream of Cottage Country

I lived near the thousand islands until the age of ten and like most kids growing up in Ontario, Summer was all about lake swimming and going to cottages. I fished, caught frogs, paddled inner tubes out to catch the wakes of passing boats and tried to build viable rafts from found objects. I loved the sound of the lake lapping at the underside of the dock as I lay still watching the fish swim in the sunny shallows below.

One of my best friends grew up in a family that owned a cottaging business with 15 cottages and as I planned our trip this Summer she and I conspired to get us out to her family's cottages for the ultimate Ontario lake experience. Everything fell into place and we just came back from three of the most fun days we've ever had as a family.

Montreal: One Pastry At A Time

Here we are back in Montreal for week two of our month here. The kids and I set out three hours after I started to get Austen dressed. Because that's how long it took to negotiate getting Austen dressed today. I could have sat on him (while he made vocal impressions of an injured bald eagle) to make him comply but frankly we're on vacation and I actually don't care when we leave the house. At all.

We hit the bakery, Le Fromentier, to pick up a few quiches and a palmier and then went on to the hipster coffee shop, Lapin Presse, to pick up an iced latte for me. Parc Sir Wilfrid Laurier was full of stroller meet-ups of all kinds and we soon found a quiet corner to make sand-cakes (Austen) and eat sticks (Caelen).

We have a very relaxed remainder of this week planned before I take the kids up to Ottawa for a side trip and Joel takes off on a business trip to Boston and Anaheim.

Toronto Tales

We decided to spend the weekend in Toronto to catch up with my cousin, aunt and the 2nd cousins who are the same age as our boys. Taking the train was EASY compared to a long drive with kids stuck in carseats (not to mention the traffic and parking). And we do love a good walk. So Saturday morning bright and early we set out for an 8:55 train from Montreal to Toronto.

The Montreal station is a bit crazy at the moment because only some platforms are stroller and wheelchair accessible but the staff were great and we managed to haul the kids down to the train platform while a porter carried all our gear. Once on board the conductor was great with the kids and very helpful. We bought lunch and snacks and Austen played happily and explored the train cars. This is the way to travel with toddlers and preschoolers!

Union Station in Toronto is right downtown and about 20 minute walk at our pace to our hotel. The station is under renovations right now and was also a bit confusing with stroller access. When it's finished the whole experience for parents will be pretty easy I hope.

Our double stroller held the kids and our weekend bag (yes, we got it down to one) and served us well on the wide smooth sidewalks of Toronto. Our hotel was one of the cool renovated old houses run by Urban North Inns. We had a whole floor to ourselves and a warm welcome from a host there and use of kitchen and livingroom/patio. Highly recommend them for very reasonably priced Toronto accommodations.

On Sunday we met up with my cousins and aunt and headed to Toronto Island for the day. I've never actually taken the Centre Island ferry. As a kid we were always headed to visit our friends who live in a magical cottage on Algonquin Island and would take the Ward Island ferry. I also had no idea about the petting zoo and cute old timey amusement park for the little ones. I highly recommend it for families with kids toddler and up. The boys loved meeting their 2nd cousins and were fast friends.

We were the first ones at the petting zoo/farm in the morning

The Centreville Amusement Park - very cute old timey family fun

Austen got very brave and decided to hit both the log ride and the rollercoaster on our way out. I'm still shocked over that one.

After the visit with my family we headed across the island to our family friend's home on Algonquin Island. Total childhood nostalgia for me at every turn. We dropped in for a visit and then were off to catch a ferry back to the city to put the kids to bed. It was a great day. 

Imagine growing up in a neighbourhood with no cars... this is a dreamy street on Algonquin Island

Monday we headed to the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) with the littles and actually had to stop and play in a park because we got there before it opened. We're those people now. Austen loved the museum and I got to catch up with a dear friend who I have known for 25 years who met us there and was willing to join our rowdy group.

We headed back to Montreal that afternoon - quite a whirlwind trip. I definitely packed it too close together. Having a travel day followed by a big sightseeing day followed by another travel day was too much for the kids. They were tired and squirly on the train back to Montreal. Live and learn. Luckily they were fast asleep by the time we were arriving and with the help of the staff on the platform we got them tucked into "bed" in the stroller and rolled off into the sunset. 

Our First Day In Montreal

The flights from Victoria to Vancouver and Vancouver to Montreal went really well. The boys were quiet and happy the whole way. They both slept through a lot of the second flight and Austen watched Zootopia with Daddy. The headphones we bought him before we left have been a godsend. The other MVP was the double stroller which Air Canada did check at the gate. I even saw someone with a double Bob - the largest beast of a double - and they managed to get on without even folding it despite there being 8 other strollers gate checked. So hats off to AC. They did a good job.

The kids were up late with the time difference and then up again at 6:30 ready to start the day... which, if you do the math, was really a 3:30am start for all of us. We were at Sir Wilfred Laurier park by 8:30 this morning after grabbing myself a coffee at Lapin Pressé en route. It's now lunch time. Caelen is down for his second nap. He is the sensible child. Austen on the other hand is singing enthusiastically to the Playmobil after a two hour stand-off over the issue of needing to eat food. No suggestion is good enough for this three year old today. He wants to be left alone to genuflect before the pile of toys generously left here by the family who rented us their home. Send more coffee.

Nine days in Victoria

July 2nd was our first travel day of our big Summer Canadian extravaganza. We took a taxi van to the airport and then flew into Victoria via Vancouver with about a two hour stopover. It was a full day for the kids but they were so chilled out. Austen just adored the planes and the airports requiring little else to amuse him. He did watch part of his movie and was pretty thrilled with the presents (a bouncy ball, stickers and wind-up toy) I had wrapped and tucked into my bag for a dull moment. Caelen literally just slept the whole way there. We were able to use the double stroller to get them up to the gate despite some confusing warnings from the airline website saying they don't gate-check double strollers. I think it's at the discretion of the person checking you in.

Despite the efforts I made to streamline our packing we were a hot mess of luggage at the airport because at the last minute Joel needed his bike...

Do not travel like this

Austen did carry his own carry-on bag #winning

Austen also used my phone to take pictures along the way

Our week and a half in Victoria has gone by faster than we could have anticipated. We gave each set of grandparents three days each to plan for us and have divided our time between them that way with a couple of rest days in there for good measure. The kids have enjoyed the beaches, Butchart Gardens, walks around Oak Bay and time with their grandparents. We haven't even taken them into Victoria's downtown at all this trip. 

The weather has been cold, damp and at times windy. I'm ready to turn up the heat with the weeks ahead in Montreal and Ontario.

Inching Closer To Adventure Time

Good news! Caelen is going to have a US passport and be officially acknowledged as an American citizen. Joel made a follow-up phone call after our additional proof of citizenship package was delivered. Once the passport arrives we can start dealing with his Canadian citizenship. Yet another instance where we wish we were dealing with the well oiled machine of the Singapore Ministry of Manpower and the Canadian High Commission in SG. Boggles the mind. Anyway, we are going to be fine to go on our trip and that's what's important right now. I've been really busy getting us ready to go. Yes we're still a ways from the departure date but I'm a planner. My list making frenzy has already been in full force for weeks. All our flights have been booked, we found a place to stay in Montreal and I've been interviewing for a part time nanny there so I can work a bit.

Ok now lets talk travel with kids again. No matter how minimal you try to be, travelling with two under 4 is going to require some extra checked baggage. After years of honing our packing skills down to just carry-on we're hauling more than ever before. Every freaking thing has a big bulky flight case from the stroller to the car seats. I'm trying to devise a plan where arrival and departure at the airports won't be such a gong-show. So far here's what my thoughts are.

• Check the two carseats (packed in proper flight cases)
• Gatecheck (right at the door of the plane) the double stroller
• Team up the suitcase packing (eg: one kid and one parent's clothes in each) so we can get down to two suitcases. 
• Austen carries his own carry-on (Stop laughing. Three year olds occasionally take direction right?)

A Mini Live-Away Adventure X4

We've been suffering from the travel bug since the one year mark in our new home. Yes, I know. At one year I was holding a newborn baby with a nearly three year old gnawing on my ankle but that didn't stop the yearning to try to take them somewhere. We took a trip to LA and Carmel when Caelen was three weeks old and it went pretty well so we began to envision our next travel opportunity. Joel usually spends a good chunk of time each year in Montreal as he works with a team of guys based there and given the weak Canadian dollar we realized we could swing spending an extended period of time away in Canada especially if we could rent out our home here. And so it was arranged. This Summer we're taking off for a mini live-away adventure in Montreal. Expats in our home country but in a city where neither of us has ever lived. We have 8 weeks to organize a renter for the house, a cat-sitter (if renter cat-sits that would be great) hire a French tutor and figure out our side trips to visit friends and family. Oh yes... and that kitchen reno really must end. I'll be blogging this crazy Summer. 

Fun fact: In 2002 a much younger Stacey & Joel traveled to Montreal on their first trip together. 

How We Travel With Littles

Disclaimer: I'm not a child travel expert. I've been at this for just three years and I only have two kids. We have survived more than 20 flights ranging from 19 hours to little 2 hour hops. And we've done a myriad of road trips varying in length from 4 to 10 hours. 

What's the best time to take a first trip with my baby?

That depends on a few factors. The first being the healing time you need port-birth. If you're up and walking and carrying your baby for long walks and feeling emotionally stable, you can probably tackle a little trip. For some mothers that's at two weeks and others that's at eight, ten...twelve. Don't compare yourself to anyone else and for god's sake don't let anyone bully you into buying plane tickets before your baby is born.

The other factor is the biggest wild card: your baby. Is your baby very sensitive? You won't know till they make their appearance. A very sensitive baby might hate every single detail of travel from the smells to the din of the airport. Also if you little one is suffering from colic or any intestinal upset common in the first 12 weeks you'll have yours hands full enough at home. A trip might not be very fun for anyone involved.

So my answer? Travel when you and your baby are feeling stable, healthy and happy. For me that was at six weeks. I was comfortable with baby-wearing, nursing in public and my baby could sleep through a train wreck or a concert and be well rested. I call that plain old luck.

36 Hours in New York

Joel had a surprise. Weeks and weeks went by and all I knew was were were going away somewhere cold where I'd also need cocktail attire. Our first night away from Austen and our first trip just us together since New Zealand trip in 2012. And so we found ourselves at SFO at midnight a few weeks ago printing out our boarding passes and I finally saw NY on the ticket. I had an inkling that might be the destination but I had no idea what was really in store for us. 

Bjork Concert at Carnegie Hall

The opening of the Bjork Exhibit at MoMA

Tasting menu at the Gramercy Tavern

Long leisurely brunches

With this view of Mid-town Manhattan

The Palace Hotel was our home away from home

Balmy spring-like weather made for an unusually warm stroll through a snow covered Central Park

By the time we landed in San Francisco on Sunday night it felt like perhaps it was all a dream.