There is no such thing as luck. There is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe.
—Robert Heinlein
I met my husband a very long time ago. We were 11. It was chance. As teenagers we had the opportunity to become friends, that was a calculated risk (with diary pages to prove it). When we were 21 we decided to turn that friendship into a romantic relationship which was a moment where we both just jumped. Ten years later we are both really happy about that jump.
When we first moved away from Canada we used to hear some people say "you guys are just lucky" in a dismissive tone that just made me bristle. Why did it bother me so much? Well, it's like saying to me "you don't deserve this, you just sat on your ass and the world was handed to you."
I think sometimes these back-handed comments are jealousy or insecurity. I also think sometimes they just come from ignorance. The romantic idea of moving abroad is pretty abstract to most people. They couldn't imagine just upping suddenly and expatriating. And that certainly would be unimaginable. I don't know any expats who just woke up one morning and left. Most of us planned for a while, some of us many years even planned our jobs and educations around making a move one day. With that kind of planning and focus it's hard not to end up on an adventure.
"I don't know any expats who just woke up one morning and left. Most of us planned for a while, some of us many years even planned our jobs and educations around making a move one day. With that kind of planning and focus it's hard not to end up on an adventure." Well said.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Jeff and I met when we were 11, too.
Thanks, and good times hanging out the other day.
ReplyDeleteSo true!! And guys it is so cute that you know your husbands for so long :)
ReplyDeleteyou know me... i did that.
ReplyDelete"I don't know any expats who just woke up one morning and left.".
ReplyDeleteWell now you know one: I kind of did that.
One day while in Tokyo for holidays, I decided that I move there as soon as I could.
One week later, back in Paris
Consequently, 2 more weeks and I was moving to London.
Seems like I suck in geography and planning. But actually, not, I'm just agile ;-)
"The romantic idea of moving abroad"
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely the voice of an expat right there.
The IDEA of living abroad is incredibly romantic. Most people can't even begin to comprehend how unromantic so much of life as an expat is.
So many of the things that you don't even know you take for granted suddenly become monumental struggles.
@Pejv@n and Sean, OK I better amend that to "I don't know *many* expats who woke up one morning and moved." ;) You guys are crazy.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to add that I couldn't agree more with the fact that most people think this is "just luck" and they do not realise how big an effort it is, and what a great and enlightening experience it is as well.
ReplyDeleteAlso add that I agree with James, many things taken for granted become all of the sudden struggles, and not only the material aspects of it, but also the culture, distance from friends, detachment from the original country and culture in a way that most expats won't feel at home in their country, but paradoxically, won't feel at home in their "home country" anymore.
So true, we talk about home country detachment a lot over here and yet we are very much the exotic species wherever we are. A threat to some, interesting to others but we don't really belong.
ReplyDeleteI tend to feel at home in an airplane now, between countries. Weird, eh?
ReplyDeleteLove this post! I agree that there are certain 'chances' but there's also a lot of work involved.
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